Of Blurred Lines and Crossed Boundaries
by CailinNollaig
Summary: On February 14th 2023, Scorpius Malfoy announces that he's gay.
1. i: Aurora Zabini

**Chapter One: Aurora Zabini**

_Life's too short to even care at all. I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control. These fishes in the sea they're staring at me.._

* * *

_Hush._

A wide-eyed hush falls over the room as he walks in, causing him to falter a little. He's never seen the place this quiet, never had so many eyes upon him at once – nor has he ever had the desire for this sort of attention. He blinks, finding little solace in the eyes of his peers who glare at him critically from their seats.

Not all of them bear this harsh glare. Some wear pitiful expressions, almost offering condolences with their sad, strained smiles. Disgust pools in his stomach, his Malfoy traits finally finding themselves, and he holds his head higher. He doesn't need their pity and sympathy; he'd rather they were disgusted by him.

At least he could find an unfounded reasoning in that.

Making his way to his table, whispers travel with him, getting louder with each heavy step. He spots his brunette comrade rather easily from there, sliding in next to her with a shrug of his shoulders. Aurora laughs at him, the sound warm and welcoming. She playfully flicks a stray piece of scrambled egg at him, and the Great Hall erupts into its usual chaotic noise.

This time, however, that chaotic noise is all about him.

"Did you hear? He asked _Professor Longbottom _for advice!"

"I heard him say that he fancied the pants of his best friend, Albus Potter,"

"Most of Slytherin has sworn they won't interact with him anymore – something to do with lesser humans. Isn't that just awful?"

Scorpius closes his eyes momentarily, trying with all his might to block out the tirade of comments around him. Aurora grasps his hand tightly, smiling wryly at him, "Sorry Scor, but you asked for this,"

He can't say he's alone in his ventures. By his side, Scorpius is blessed with the brilliant Rose Weasley. They've been friends since the first day at Hogwarts – they hit it off on the train there. From there, Lorcan Scamander and Albus Potter joined the ranks. Aurora Zabini had been the last friend that entered their little group, but she was definitely welcomed. He scans the room for their aforementioned friends, but comes up dry.

He turns back to Aurora, who is now broodily sipping soup, "Where's the others?"

For the first time since the incident, she appears a little perturbed, "I don't know. I haven't seen them yesterday… You know, you could have told them beforehand. Given them some warning."

"They did know." He replies promptly, directing his eyes to his plate, which has been half-heartedly filled. She bends her head low to meet his eyes, appearing understanding as she silently laments with him.

Sighing, Aurora throws her long hair over her shoulder, "We just need to focus on other things. Like, maybe, how _hot _Zane Wood is looking today. Oh my god, we can discuss these things together now, can't we?" Her face lights up, and excitement sparks within her at the prospect.

Scorpius immediately rolls his eyes, "I'm not going to be your 'gay best friend', Rory."

"But… I hate to break it to you bud, but _technically_…"

He laughs, thankful for her presence at a time like this. Scorpius supposes Aurora is the best one to make first contact with – she'd never make a fuss, and it's a rare time anything is awkward with her. He's beginning to finally relax in the Great Hall, the whispers fading into white noise around him, when he sees Aurora begin to frown.

Dread pools in his stomach at the prospect of what that is, turning him off his breakfast instantly. He pushes the plate away slightly, setting his knife and fork together like he has been told to do so many times by his parents. He hasn't seen the Daily Prophet yet, but he can't imagine they're unaware of this shocking news still. The Malfoy family is one of the "next generation" families that the news follows like celebrities, alongside names like Potter, Weasley, Scamander and Longbottom. Malfoy receives a slightly different treatment to the others though, seeing as his stories are usually twisted to malicious context no matter the content.

A light breeze alerts him to someone walking past, and on instinct, Scorpius turns and sees the source of Aurora's discomfort. Upon this, his heart gives out one last heave of hurt, his chest constricts ever so slightly and he has the strongest urge to cry. He doesn't do that though. Malfoy's don't cry in public. That's ridiculous.

"Ignore him," Aurora says, noticing his plummet into the depths of heartache, "He just needs time."

He winces in response, knowing she's being generous with her answer. Scorpius isn't sure if the other teen will ever come around to the idea of him being openly gay… especially given how he found out. Swallowing thickly, Scorpius nods at her. She begins to speak again, rambling about some potions homework assignment that they both had. It makes him feel a lot better to hear her incessant chatter.

There's an uproarious bout of laughter from several seats up. Scoprius doesn't even have to look up to know that it's coming from him – but he does anyway. He's startled to find those green eyes pinned on him, their brooding darkness juxtaposition against his amused expression. He's laughing at him. Laughing as if he's been told the funniest joke in the world.

Maybe he is the funniest joke in the world to Albus.

This wiry, pale and eternally dark boy of average height – who is he?

Scorpius doesn't even notice the boys sitting next to Albus, his eyes only seeing his old friend. He's in such a state of unadulterated shock that he doesn't register himself standing. Slowly, but surely, he backs away from the Ravenclaw table. His heartbeat thuds mercilessly loudly in his ears, making him deaf to all else, and he realises that everyone can see. Albus is still chortling with his quidditch friends, the object of his amusement Scorpius himself. He can't do this anymore.

He turns on his heel and dashes towards the front doors, doing all he can to maintain a stoic composure all the while. He distantly hears Aurora speak harshly to Albus, "I'm so disgusted. You should be ashamed of yourself,"

Scorpius collapses onto the steps outside the Great Hall, covering his face with his hands as the scene replays in his mind. He hasn't been running, but all of a sudden, it's becoming hard to breathe. His chest is constricting again, but this time, it's more difficult to gulp in air. His hands begin to shake, a precursor to his whole body eventually shaking as he struggles to draw in a breath among his mangled mutters to himself to "get it together".

Someone is sitting beside him then, small and dainty, rubbing his back soothingly. Calmly, they tell him to breathe in deeply through his nose, and out slowly through his mouth. Scorpius manages to understand, following their instructions without complaint. It takes him several minutes, but eventually the shaking and difficulty breathing subsides.

He peers up into bright, blue eyes looking at him with concern. A wry smile appears on her face then, "You ok?"

Scorpius manages to nod, "Yeah. Thanks, Rory."

"That's what I'm here for!" She withdraws herself from him then, allowing some space between them as she relaxes over the steps, "He's being an asshole. He'll come crawling back, don't you worry, babe."

He refrains from correcting her. Truth be told, he can't even think about Albus right now – it makes him crazy obviously, turning him into a shaking, unappealing mess. Scorpius can't find it in him to respond to her at all.

She grabs his hands, climbing down to sit in front of him, leaning lightly against his knees, "Don't let the critics get you down. We're in this together – all of us. We wouldn't want you to be anything but yourself… all of this? This is just the time in between. It won't last long. So, can you keep your chin up? People want to see that devastatingly handsome face."

He laughs at her, pushing the brunette away spiritedly, "Thanks. I needed that."

"I know. Now, can we _please _get to comparing our notes on the lads around here? Don't give me that look! I promise it'll be fun.."

"Get stuffed, Zabini." Scorpius says good-naturedly, letting Aurora help him up. She begins talking again, but none of it is being heard, because the echo of cruel laughter is still ringing in his ears. He isn't sure when he'll forget it.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey, all! Alright, so I really shouldn't be starting this - but once the idea came to me, I could not shake it. Plus, I've no HP WIP going on at the moment. Can't be having that, can we? Anyway, this should be about 5-6 chapters. They will be individual moments with different characters in relation to this news. They'll all be from Scorpius' POV, and not in chronological order - after all, where would the fun in that be?

I know this is a delicate subject to approach, and do it justice with respect, dignity and make it believable - so I am going to try my damnest. If people feel I'm not doing that, I'll rethink the whole story. Also, "announces he was gay" could be taken wrong, but just wait!

Disclaimer: I don't own HP or "Cough Syrup" by Young the Giants.

I'm hoping to update again on Tuesday.

Reviews would really be great, and spur me on to update mucho faster.

Thank you for reading,

CN.


	2. ii: The Quidditch Team

**Chapter Two: The Quidditch Team.**

_You're giving me the coldest stare, like you don't even know I'm there. Why don't we turn the leaf?_

* * *

_(March 2__nd __)_

There's an unnerving dryness in his mouth that won't go away. It's only gotten worse as the day progressed, and now, Scorpius coughs futilely, the force of it scraping his throat raw. By all means, he shouldn't be feeling this way. He shouldn't have this much apprehension over something that he did with glee a month ago. The unfairness of it slaps him with such ferocity that his step falters a little.

Should he be going?

The overriding feeling in response to this is _yes_. Of course. Scorpius has been on this team since fourth year, he has proven himself to be a worthy player and invaluable to the team. So why does he feel so unwanted? It's not that anyone told him not to come, or made any snide remarks, but for the first time, no one approached him to ask about practice. Usually, they talk about their next practices as part of small-talk in between classes, meals and evenings in the common room. Not this time.

That said, maybe he's just paranoid. That may have happened before, but Scorpius didn't notice because there hadn't been a reason to. He inhales deeply, assuring himself of this fact. These are his friends. They might have had an adverse reaction to his sexuality at first, but since, they haven't said anything derogatory to him. (They haven't spoken to him either, but he doesn't think about that.)

He hoists his broom higher over his shoulder, stands tall before the door to the changing rooms and listens closely for the hustle and bustle of pre-training banter. To his relief, Scorpius can hear Spencer Pierce and Seth McLaggen exchange light-hearted jabs about their moves, while the captain – Asher Wood, determined to make something of the Ravenclaw team after failing to make it into Gryffindor – shouts wasted commands over the noise.

It swears it's like magic. He steps into the room, and suddenly, you could hear a splash in the ocean. Scorpius freezes, too, feeling uncomfortable with the bewildered stares.

Spencer's face twists unpleasantly, "What the hell are you doing in here?"

Flabbergasted, he opens and closes his mouth several times, struggling to find an apt response. He can't even pinpoint his exact feelings, because it seems like there's about a thousand all fighting for dominance within him – and though he wants to be angry, the prominent emotion is hurt and embarrassment. He's mortified… and he's wounded.

Dominic, a fourth year who should be intimidated enough by Scorpius – who is rather tall, with a rather impressive and broad physique – to stay quiet, tentatively says, "You can't change here."

"Don't want you eyeballing me, Malfoy," Spits Spencer, "Don't want you no where near me."

"Excuse me?" He replies, ire finally in his tone, "I don't _want _you. I only want to play." Scorpius storms through, ignoring the stares of the five other players. It's more difficult than he anticipated to block out their glares, but when he arrives at his changing area, all air leaves his lungs.

Abruptly, he's thrown back to the fifteenth of February, gasping for air on the steps outside the Great Hall. He knows it's going to happen before it does – his breathing becomes difficult, his chest starts to pain and the control over his hands seems to leave him.

Black and pink letters, glittering madly – tauntingly, mock him as they form the disparaging slurs across his locker. He tries to swat at them, but the magic isn't dismissed by simple hand waves, and he doesn't have the presence of mind to withdraw his wand. _Go find some other boys to leer at, gay._

"Told you we don't want you here!" Spencer jeers, appearing rather liberated by the experience. He finds it funny because he doesn't think he's ever felt more like an animal in a cage, being poked and prodded crudely by onlookers. "Get out of the locker room, homo, and get off the team. While you're at it, you might want to get the fuck out of our dorms. Who knows what you'll _do _to us in our sleep." His sneer, one of unadulterated disgust and repulsion – as if Scorpius were something repugnant – causes him to stumble back, his breathing becoming even more laboured.

Seth nods in agreement with his friend, while Asher only turns to leave the changing room. Tears spring to his lids, but he fights them ferociously, because he's not going to lose another battle today. Just as he feels all hope is lost, someone shouts out defiantly, "Leave him the fuck alone,"

It's amazing how one, completely ineloquent and short, sentence can turn everything around. He finds the power to practice the breathing exercises Aurora taught him, and even manages to stand firmly again. His heart gives a little jolt, awakening all of his positive traits and emotions again, as he replays the objection in his head.

Dominic, who had been following Spencer's lead, stutters, "Al—Albus, we thought.. we thought—"

"Well, you thought wrong." His tone is clipped, harsh and unforgiving. Scorpius thinks he loves him for it.

"Ah, Albus, c'mon, you can't be serious!" Seth finally speaks, looking to his peer with wide eyes. His eyes flicker to Scorpius for a second, a look of misplaced fear following it.

"I'm dead serious. One more word against him, and you're all finished." Naturally, there have always been comparisons between the "next generation" kids and their war-hero parents. James and Albus have been no exception in being constantly pitted against their father. James has always lived up to his name, being vivacious and vicarious in life and never stopping to question it. He's a hell-raiser and renowned for it.

Albus, on the other hand, has never been that. Neither was Harry. He's not his father – but he has the same draw as Harry does now. One bad word from Albus Potter, and you could be finished socially. One may not think this a big deal, but to most seventeen year olds, they believe it's to the detriment of their lives. Not many are willing to risk it, and it's completely in Albus' hands on whether to abuse that power. He doesn't.

They leave the locker room. Albus doesn't glance at him, doesn't try and comfort him even a little. Scorpius stumbles out, blindly, tears gathering again in his vision as he struggles to make sense of what has transpired in that dingy shed. So unaware of his surroundings, he runs straight into someone.

"Scorpius, what – are you okay?" Oh, wow. His luck is getting better by the minute today. It's almost enough to make him cry, but again, his resolve is steadfast; Malfoy's do not cry.

"I'm fine," It's strangled and hoarse, but it'll do. He finally opens his eyes again, finding little comfort in the blue staring back at him. She springs back quickly, giving him a hand as he hoists himself up.

"You don't look fine. Did something happen in there?" She's always been able to read him like a book, Scorpius thinks sadly. She looks better than she has in recent weeks; her hair has been washed, and is shining gloriously in the sunlight, making the red look evanescent, while her eyes at last appear well-rested. Her Quidditch robes are tied tightly around her, and he's sure the males on his team are sure to appreciate it – minus one, of course.

He tries to hide his woes by giving her a convincing, "No, of course nothing happened," but he's sure he has "tells" that she knows by heart at this stage. You can't be friends for nearly seven years and not pick up on a few things.

"Don't listen to them," She says gently, placing her hand on his arm, "They have no idea what they're talking about. Okay? I can't say I understand – but you know they don't either. They're just afraid of what they don't know."

Before he can stop himself, Scorpius spits, "Spencer seems to understand just fine to me."

Swiftly; "Spencer's an asshole. Always has been."

He runs a hand over his face in weariness, "I know. It doesn't make it alright."

"I guess it doesn't." Silence falls over them. It's not comfortable like it used to be, but tense and expectant. Scorpius doesn't know what she wants him to say – he doesn't know what he _can _say. Why must he deal with everything today? Why must everyone in the world be against him? Nothing can just be _easy_. "Rose, I—"

"Don't." His eyes dart to hers, worried, but she continues talking. A vague, small smile appears on her face, "It's not a discussion for today. Anyway, I better get back to training.." She taps on the broom slung over her shoulder lightly, as if letting him know what she's training for. He nods, returning her smile with a grateful one, hoping she recognises how much he appreciates that.

As Scorpius turns away, he's stopped when she announces hesitantly, "I—I hope you're doing okay."

A ghost of a smile returns, but it's sad and broken, "You, too, Rose. You, too."

* * *

A/N: That was a bit harsh, I know. I wanted to bring the startling reality of how this can transpire though - and though this is 2023, the Wizarding World are _miles _behind the muggle world in terms of most traditions and social norms. I think that has to be kept in mind.

Also, I probably should have warned that this wouldn't be all that pleasant. I guess that's kind of in the subtext though, right? Don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom :)

Disclaimer: HP not mine. Nor is "Hold On" by Lewis Watson.

I know I had something else to say, but I can't remember right now. I do know that I'd love some reviews! They're like drugs for those rare musicians that create great music when under the influence.

In any case, thank you to those who did review last chapter and those of you who have just finished reading this one :)

Until next time,

CN.


	3. iii: Rose Weasley

**Chapter Three: Rose Weasley**

_And I'm sorry, but now I've got to go. You know we got too close, and I hope you understand.. That I can't give you all the things you want. You know my heart belongs in someone else's hands._

* * *

_(February 13__th__ )_

It's a typical day for Scorpius by all means. The weather is not abnormal for the middle of February, with a crisp, fresh breeze drifting through the castle and the lack of warmth causing everyone to wear double layers for the day. For some unfathomable reason, the castle heating charms haven't been activated – he strongly suspects it's something to do with McGonagall's theory that the cold keeps them awake. He swears she's a bit sadistic.

He's gone to all his classes, had a pleasant dinner with friends over which they argued about the best house – how cliché, and now awaits patiently for his best friend in their old meeting place. On the second floor of the castle, tucked away at the back, is a classroom that is very rarely used. Its proximity to the Gryffindor tower and all the boisterous noise that occurs there, and its distance from everything else, renders it quite redundant. Aurora found this out years ago, and being the ridiculous person she is, insisted that their gang use it as a hangout so it isn't always lonely.

She's a bit touched in the head.

Nonetheless, as Scorpius sits stiffly in this room, he's thankful for it. The familiarity and great memories attached to this room will bring him great comfort now. He needs that. Nervousness travels through his bones, causing him to jig his leg incessantly. He tries to stop that every so often, being aware of his Grandfathers admonishes of such 'emotional' behaviour. Maintaining a cool, stoic exterior is the key to success in all situations – because that worked _so _well for him.

His companion finally rushes in the door, her jacket hanging off of her, cheeks flushed from cold or exercise – he can't tell which – and her hair looking more frazzled than usual. She throws her bag into a corner carelessly, ignoring the loud thud it makes upon hitting the floor, and instantly launches into a tirade that eventually explains why she is so late.

Rose is an organised, painfully punctual being – this kind of tardiness doesn't wash with her.

"….He had the _nerve _to say that I was stuck up then! Can you imagine that, Scorpius? 'Rose, your head is so far up your arse, I don't know how you can hear me,'" She mimics, in a low and obviously exaggerated voice. She huffs and falls into one of the arm chairs they moved in here. "He's a prat, isn't he?"

Scorpius, who has been wincing throughout the entire rant, schools his features and shrugs a shoulder, "He's…" He struggles to find a word, and then throws out, "difficult."

"You're telling me. He needs a book on how to talk to girls. _Just _because I said I was waiting on—" She stops here suddenly, the tips of her ears adorably shading red. Rose clears her throat, "What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?"

The full weight of the situation returns to him then, and Scorpius leans back in his chair. He crosses his legs, places his arms along the chair and tilts his head back slightly. Trying to emulate Lucius Malfoy every weekend at dinner, he begins to speak, "I—I have something important to tell you, Rose.." His Lucius demeanour flies right out the window, replaced by Scorpius Malfoy. He's cool at the best of times, but in real situations, he seems to turn into this nervous wreck.

Wiping his hands, now glistening with sweat, against his trousers in agitation, words fail him miserably. Frustration grows in him, and he can feel the heat rising in his face, but it does little to help his verbal abilities. "I—I… We just…. You need to know.."

Rose is watching him with patient eyes, regarding his state with a certain curiosity. He isn't looking at her – he can't look at her. Counting the tiles along the ground suddenly seems like a very appealing option, and he does this in his head to calm himself.

"Is this about us?" She asks, and he thinks she sounds hopeful.

A frown changes his expression, and also his train of thought, "Us? I don't know. Yes, maybe. No? I don't know." He sighs laboriously, getting inexplicably weary already. It has the effect of creating a lump in his throat and a sting in his eyes, but there is no way he's going to cry. "I have this secret, Rose. And it's – it's eating me alive," his voice is no more than a whisper.

Scorpius doesn't meet her eyes anymore. He focuses on his fingers locked tightly together, squeezing each other painfully in an effort to release the emotion. "I can't hold onto it anymore. I—I need someone else. I need you."

Rose is beside him then, gently taking his hands into hers. "I'm always here, and I always will be here, Scorpius. You know that."

He nods imperceptibly, and it becomes even harder to speak. He's sure she must have to strain to make out the words, they're said so low, so quietly that even he wonders if he's actually said it. "You mean so much to me. I want you to know this before someone else finds out. I want you to know because I need you to know, I need to stop feeling like I'm hiding something from you."

"Scorpius, stop." He freezes, panic beginning to seize him as he wonders if she's already grasped what he's saying – and not happy about it. "I know what you're saying," There's a smile on her face when he looks up. He's confused. "And I feel the same way."

This promptly floors him. All moisture deserts his mouth, he's utterly speechless now and there's an overbearing sense of '_Oh, no. Please no.' _

She comes to stand in front of him, still maintaining her soft hold on his hands (he suddenly remembers telling her how soft her hands are), and she takes hold of his chin. Rose's beautiful clear, blue eyes look into his (he's told her so many times how lovely it is to look into those beautiful eyes) and she leans in a little. "I love you, too, Scorpius. We don't need to hide this."

He can't speak. There are no words. What can he say to salvage this? How can he possibly turn this around and make it about the real, honest truth? More importantly, how could he with good conscience break his best friends heart? And what a kind, loving and loyal heart she has. (He's told her that before.)

Scorpius is thrown off when she closes the gap between them unexpectedly, her lips meeting his in an awkward smooch. Her arms sneak up around his neck and she sits down on his lap, pressing her body against in his in a way that would have any straight, red-blooded male on fire with lust. He just feels uncomfortable.

With minor difficulty, she slips her tongue into his mouth and emits a small moan. It's barely there, but he definitely heard it, and it freaks him out.

Scorpius pushes Rose away, and incidentally, off of his lap. She looks up at him, aghast, but before she can say anything, his mouth opens. Word vomit. Its messy stench causes them to go the longest time without speak since they met.

"Rose, I'm so sorry—I don't – I'm not… You're…" He finally finds the courage, fuelled by panic, to blurt out, "Rose, I'm gay."

He should have been in Gryffindor.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I know all of these chapters are short, but I'm planning on updating rather regularly - hopefully having another chapter out by Sunday, probably before that - so maybe that'll cushion the length?

I had planned to write more, but I think it's better to leave it here.

Please let me know what you think. Feedback is really important in this story, I think. I'm just going on what I have seen around me and on TV and common sense to try and write this, so I could be off base at times, and if I am, please do tell me :)

Disclaimer: I do not own "Somebody Else's Hands" by the Coronas (beautiful song) or HP by JK Rowling.

Thanks for all the reviews so far, guys. And thanks for reading!

CN.


End file.
